Our Daily Bread.

Who does not like the smell of fresh baked bread? I miss the bread days of my childhood. My Mum would bake what seemed to be a zillion loaves of bread to sustain us for the week. Our treat was fried bread dough, smothered in butter. Some of my siblings would dip the bread in maple syrup or spread on beet jam from mums preserves. I chose to not bastardize my squall cakes. Eating them is their purest form with butter.  I believe this is where my unhealthy relationship with bread began. Even today, I can have a flood of memories overwhelm me with just one small whiff of fresh bread.

I have tried in vain to find an alternative to bread. But there is nothing that can replace the smell, crunch of bread. The heel was always considered the coup de grâce in our house. Our Mother exhausted every effort to end our mutilation of her fresh loaves and our endless decapitation of each end of the loaf. Being chased with her weapon of choice, the dreaded fly swatter, did little to end her plight. She could often be heard to mumble something like “you little buggers” as she swung the swatter but rarely did she connect. It was a lame swing with very little intent other than intimidation. Except for one occasion that left a small imprint of a fly on my friends ars. Still known as the fly swatter caper. This often forced us to take drastic measures of eating her frozen brownies straight from the deep freeze. Of course these were reserved for friends and guests that lived in a higher tax bracket, the Hoity Toity ones. There is a rumour in Winnipeg that my Mum never did make brownies because no one other than my siblings and my BFF’s Colleen, Sandra and Bunny ever had the privilege to eat.

Sadly, children of today will never experience the joys of smelling fresh bread wafting from their homes. We were probably thinner then because we spent a great deal of time running from our armed mothers, burning off every slice of bread we filched. Or maybe, we were just satisfied in the oral category and now we fill up on crap trying to replace the decadence of our childhood.

Either way, nothing defines a mothers love like a loaf of fresh bread!

Plunder away…………..

Be Nice!

Love this quote!

Labels are just another way to abuse people. People who need to label us or remind us of our flaws have deep- seated fears lodged in their brain! It has nothing to do with us.

I’m not sure what is happening in our culture that we have suddenly decided hurting people was ok and actually expected. My late sister had a term she used,” déclassée!”   Maybe this is the problem. As we encourage our off spring to self-love we skip over the need to be classy, not always speak your mind, show respect. We forget to tell them that their opinion is just that, it is not gospel. We show our children in small ways that they are the be all and end all, we forget to remind them the world does not revolve around them. Mostly by example. I hear adults being rude to waitresses, cashiers ,who ever. Parents litter. They over defend. They expect! We do this in little ways, subtle but the kids get the message that the world is all about them.

This is how.

Arguing in front of the kids, yelling at people, talking down to people or about them. Back in the day, our parent would have quiet discussions that were meant only for adult ears. Please and thank you were ALWAYS necessary.

Littering. My pet peeve, eg. Leaving your Timmies cup on the shelf over there. Ya, no one will notice. Except the kids!

You are never wrong, yup. Never let your kids hear you make an apology!

Don’t do ANYTHING for ANYONE! unless you are rewarded.

Breaking the law doing whatever and having the attitude it is ok if you don’t get caught. Eg. using cell when driving.

Kids notice all this crap, file it in their little brain for use later on. It is insidious. Little by little we are eroding our society.

Of course there are a few reading this right now that are insulted. Not my kids, not me! And, I can not say everyone either. But lets face it.  We are so busy running our kids here and there, to this activity and that event. We are so pressed for time, all the time. Thinking that will keep our kids “Busy” and out of trouble. Maybe that is the trouble. Kids need our time and attention. They need to have quiet, peaceful time. Time to learn how to calm that need, want. Life is not a race is it!  They need to learn how to love, love the world, love the people on it and love themselves. Stop being so angry. Our kids have more than we would ever have had, yet they are more angry, demanding, impatient then any other generation except maybe us!

Lets slow down people. Take a walk with our kids.
Sit quietly everyday for 10 minutes. No tv, no cell. Try it. It is harder than you think. Do something nice EVERYDAY that your kids see. Hold that door open for someone, anyone! Say thanks. Smile and have a nice day. 🙂

Mmmm Celery Soup!

My Cream of Celery Soup.

1 cup onion, chopped

2 cups chopped celery

1/2 teaspoon crushed garlic

2 Knorr chicken cubes

3 cups water

3/4 cup half and half cream

1 tablespoon butter

pepper to taste

In medium saucepan melt butter. Saute’ onion, celery, garlic and pepper on medium – low heat until onions are translucent. Add water and chicken cubes. Simmer until celery is soft. Remove from heat and cool 5 min ( cream will curdle otherwise). Stir in cream. Puree in blender and rewarm.

ps. I do not add salt. Enough in cubes!

PGX, Fitbit and Retail Therapy and hot water.

There is a new phenomena called the Fitbit! Cool little thing you wear on your wrist that tracks your movements, calories, water etc. I think mine is on the fritz and has been since I purchased. It keeps reminding me that I lack movement. This can not be! Is there a piano tied to my butt? Move it, move it!! The little voice in my head reminds me and the occasional jab, poke or whatever it is you get from your Fitbit friends. A little like a personal trainer, but you can cuss at it! It doesn’t care. It just keeps ticking, taunting. I am using up all my data on my cell. “I must have walked off those fries by now, damn it, shit”.

I want to start a revolution, we need to get a petition going to Fitbit. An app to track our cuss words. Give us points we can use. ” You have used the F bomb 172 times today, that is one free piece of cheesecake!” Wouldn’t that be fabulous? Ok, Ok, just an idea!

So, I actually started using PGX this week. So far so good. I started off with 3 caps 2x a day. Last time I did the recommended 2 caps and I did not notice a change in my appetite. This time I can really tell the difference. I am not hungry at all. But, my blood sugars have dropped quite low. So I may need to adjust my insulin. These capsules kinda look like suppositories oh and um, they work like one too at first! Maybe 3 caps was not a good idea! However, they do fill you up.

Retail therapy, my best worst friend! I had an aha moment today. I keep buying new tops. Why do I do this? Well, nothing fits right when your big. Except for Motherhood, no one on the planet designs clothes for a large belly. I swear the stores put fun mirrors in the change rooms. I look great in there but get home, put on the shirt gaze in the mirror and think “Holy crap that’s fugly!” ( fugly is Fing bomb before ugly). What was I thinking! I spend more time returning fuglies to the stores than I care to mention. So, that shirt cost me $20 in gas! What a deal. Then you get to the store and the staff act like it’s coming from their pay. Good grief, I wish they gave me as much trouble at the till when I went to buy the stuff.  “Ma’am, why do you want to buy this shirt? Is there something WRONG with your other shirts? Will this colour coordinate with your wardrobe? Will this shirt FIT YOU Ma’am?  Do you realize this shit is fugly?” Ma’am, Ma’am, where are you going? Do you still want this lovely fugly shirt?”

Oh, and don’t bother buying that shirt with the idea you will shrink into it. No, No, No. The shirts shrink , you won’t ! No matter how hot the water is ladies. I don’t understand that either. The melting point for lard is 86 – 104 F. I know my body temp is somewhere in between. Having said that, shouldn’t soaking in a hot bath begin to melt my fat? Nope, not in my world. Then it is true that I am NOT a lard ass, or I would have melted by now!

Look at me collecting points……

Body Dysmorphic Disorder!

Well, this time last years I swore my waist would be smaller. The time is quickly approaching to board the plane to Calgary and I am the same size!

While it is true that I fit the air plane seat last year and will this year the question still remains, for how long? After all the seat width is only 17 inches! Have you looked at your ass lately? One more airline cut back and none of us will fit!

There was an interesting show on Dr. Oz yesterday. It was about this misogynistic guy who fat shames women and encourages other men to do the same. It made me question how many people think the same but are just being politically correct. I have experienced just such shaming. Not only by strangers but by well meaning family members. “I am only telling you for your own good”. Every fat girl has experienced this. Some how people think we have no mirrors. I may have a bit of body dysmorphic disorder, as do most people when they see a photograph of themselves. Who of us has not criticized a photo? But really people, do you think we are unaware? I had a guy call me a fat cow one day. I look at him shocked ” I am! Oh, thank God you told me. I could have walked around for years and not known!”  I pride myself with having a little bit of sarcasm in my tone. Somehow the people like this F tard on Dr. Oz thinks he is providing a public service. “you know, FAT people cost the health care system millions of dollars!” So do morons that verbally abuse people, now we need a shrink! I am always astonished that people even have room to criticize. I have a few questions for them.

1) do you have a perfect diet, (weight does not reflect that, millions of skinny people have a crappy diet.)

2) do you exercise 5 days a week?

3) are you reckless or aggressive when you drive? Do you speed?

4) do you drink alcohol or use recreational drugs?

5) are you a nasty piece of work, angry?

6) do you really know how to relax?

7) do you smoke, ANYTHING?

If there is a yes to any of the above then I think they too may be a drain on the health care system.

You see, the only difference between me and them is that my problem is visible to the world. I can’t hide it. I can’t deny it. I can’t lie about it. But shaming me will not help. EVER.

Oh, and about that guy on Dr. Oz. Well, I tweeted Dr. Oz to say thank you for stopping the fat shaming. And the guy that was on Oz tweeted me back. He said to me Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Yup, I’m not kidding.

I wonder if it would be ok to walk up to very skinny girls, giggle and ask them if they would like me to buy them a burger? You never hear people say to emaciated girls in the mall ” YOU are to skinny!” People may notice, they may even whisper about it. But never would they have the guts to walk up to them like they do me.

What gives people? Lets stop all this fat shaming! I for one will be giving people a tongue lashing if I hear it again.

Found this for you Sandra!

Chocolate Eclair Cake – Low Carb and Gluten-Free

Yield: 10 servings

A decadent low carb, gluten-free cake with layers of meringue, pastry cream and sugar-free chocolate ganache. Chocolate eclairs in cake form!

Ingredients

Pastry Cream:
    • 1 ¼ cups whipping cream
    • 3 egg yolks
    • 1/4 cup Swerve Sweetener
    • pinch salt
    • 1 tbsp arrowroot starch*
    • 2 tbsp butter, cut into two pieces
    • 1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
    • 1/4 tsp stevia extract
Meringue Layers:
    • 3/4 cup fine almond flour
    • 1/3 cup powdered Swerve Sweetener
    • 4 egg whites, room temperature
    • 2 tbsp granulated Swerve Sweetener
    • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
    • 1/4 tsp cream of tartar
    • pinch salt
Chocolate Ganache:
  • 5 tbsp butter
  • 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate
  • 1/4 cup powdered Swerve Sweetener
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Instructions

Pastry Cream:
    1. Bring whipping cream to a simmer in a medium saucepan over medium heat.
    2. In a medium bowl, whisk egg yolks with sweetener and salt, then whisk in arrowroot starch* until mixture becomes pale yellow and thick, about 30 seconds.
    3. Slowly whisk about half of the hot cream into the yolks to temper, then return the yolk/cream mixture back to the saucepan and cook until thick and glossy, about 1½ minutes, whisking continuously. It thickens up suddenly and quickly, so watch carefully!
    4. Remove from heat and whisk in butter, vanilla and stevia. Transfer to a small bowl and press plastic wrap flush to the surface. Chill in refrigerator at least 3 hours.
    5. *If you don’t want to use arrowroot starch, you can whisk in 1/2 tsp of xanthan gum at the end to help thicken the pastry cream. This should be your last step before chilling.
Meringue Layers:
    1. Preheat oven to 350F. On a large piece of parchment, trace three (3) 5×10 inch rectangles. Place parchment on a large baking sheet.
    2. In a medium bowl, whisk together almond flour and powdered sweetener.
    3. In a large, clean bowl, beat egg whites with granulated sweetener, vanilla extract, cream of tartar and salt until they just begin to hold stiff peaks.
    4. Gently fold in almond flour mixture until fully combined.
    5. Spread meringue mixture evenly onto each of the 3 traced rectangles. Bake 15 minutes, then turn off oven and prop open door with a wooden spoon. Leave inside until cool.
Chocolate Ganache:
    1. In a medium saucepan over low heat, melt butter and unsweetened chocolate together, stirring until smooth.
    2. Stir in powdered sweetener and vanilla extract.
    3. Let cool 5 to 10 minutes, until thickened but still pourable.
To Assemble:
  1. Peel one meringue layer carefully off parchment and lay on serving platter.
  2. Spread with half of the pastry cream. Top with another layer of meringue and spread with remaining half of pastry cream. Top with final layer of meringue.
  3. Pour ganache over top of cake and let drip down the sides.
  4. Let set 1 hour before serving (you can refrigerate, but let it sit out 10 minutes before trying to cut, to soften ganache).

Notes

Serves 10. Each serving has 5 g of carbs and 2 g of fiber. Total NET CARBS = 3 g.

Per serving: 281 Calories; 28g Fat (85.4% calories from fat); 5g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 126mg Cholesterol; 145mg Sodium.

Lunch Anyone?

The InspiralizerIf you don’t have one of these, get one!  Spirooli  is $29.99 at Bed Bath and Beyond. There are several different brands but this is the least expensive, it comes with 3 different blades. They are cheap and I make tons of recipes with this. So low carb. Fantastic in replace of pasta. Just saute for a couple minutes and add favorite sauce. Great way to get kids to eat their vegetables. Not to mention Mum and Dad.

Here is one recipe.

Ginger and Egg drop Bowl.

1/2 large zucchini cut into spirals

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/2 cup chopped green onion

1 tablespoon minced ginger

1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

2 teaspoons sherry vinegar

1 tablespoon low sodium soy sauce

2 cups vegetable broth (I use low sodium)

1/2 cup water

1 large egg, beaten

In a large sauce pan over medium heat add oil. Saute ginger 1 minute. Add red pepper flakes, vinegar,soy, broth and water.

Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer. While stirring add egg to broth.

Add zucchini, green onion and season with pepper. Cook 2 minutes.

Serves 1.

Add shrimp or chicken for variation.